Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize