i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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