you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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