ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
