Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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