I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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