Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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