I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
