worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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