NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
