can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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