i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
