you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
