Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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