Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
