I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
