He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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