Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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