But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
