she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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