Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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