Nicole vs. Life
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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