I just cut my nipple shaving
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
