i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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