I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize