i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Couch. On fire.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
