if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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