i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize