so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
