can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
