Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
