i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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