You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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