omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
