There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
