So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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