Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
