wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
