I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
