worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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