And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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