i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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