I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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