I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize