I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
