Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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