her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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