So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
