You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
