Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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