He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
