Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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