I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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