And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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