i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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