well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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