Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
