you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
