Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
