we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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