i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
is it fun? or sober?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
