i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
