i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
